Ben Schelker’s 100 Reasons to Stay on Earth for Now

Ben Schelker’s 100 Reasons to Stay on Earth for Now

(Originally appeared in Mutant Renegade Zine)

100. Fresh Coffee
99. Fresh Bagels
98. Dogs that don’t bite
97. Jack Kerouac
96. Not having to wear dirty socks
95. The Higher Taste cookbook
94. Rancid (The band, you moron)
93. The Front Street Coffee House
92. Dracula (The book)
91. Sitting in Denny’s at 3 in the morning watching all the freaky people.
90. New guitar strings
89. Thinking of the day I can run down the entire cast of the show “Full House”
88. My stereo my older sister gave me
87. Sleeping in
86. The Paper Tulips (Another band, but I shouldn’t call you a moron, that’s not nice)
85. Skeletons
84. Nights when my stupid redneck neighbors aren’t screaming in their yard at 4 am
83. If #84 actually happened
82. Fettucini Alfredo
81. Cage (see the end of #86)
80. Belching
79. Shooting pool
78. Seeing some asshole who really deserves it get decked
77. Road trips
76. J. Church (#86)
75. Friends from out of town
74. Oxymorons’ new CD (I’m an ego-maniac)
73. Open stage night at Canal Street Tavern
72. Pizza! (Pizza is soul food, not meant to be defiled by large companies that don’t know what they’re doing)
71. Getting free beer when I’m on tour
70. Beer
69. Brooklyn Lager (My fave)
68. Benaroni & Cheese (The recipe is in Rinso zine #3, I think)
67. Hot and sour soup
66. Scaring Bible thumpers you work with by carrying tarot cards around
65. The Simpsons
64. Army of Darkness
63. Snowball fights (when you are winning)
62. Fixing your guitar all by yourself
61. Superchunk
60. Fresh vegetables
59. Having your own garden to get fresh vegetables
58. Sincere people
57. Coming home and finding your roommates have already cleaned
56. Pomi’s Pizza in Cinci
55. Candyass (See #74)
54. Going to see a band you know nothing about and having the time of your life
53. A good night’s sleep
52. Getting hit on by someone who is really hot.
51. Chuck Taylors (Yeah, I know they are trendy now, but oh well)
50. Getting half done with something (Get it? Ha, ha)
49. Watching cheesy Kung-fu movies, turning down the volume, and making your own dialogue
48. Roscoe, NY
47. New York City
46. Crazy Mama’s (Columbus)
45. Dave Graeter compilation tapes
44. St. Louis Art Museum
43. William S. Burroughs
42. The power of myth by Joseph Campbell
41. Seafood
40. Helter Skelter by The Beatles
39. Hate by Peter Bagges
38. My aunt Tama
37. Getting mail
36. Free samples in the store
35. Sex
34. A steady diet of sex
33. 7th Street Entry
32. Nino’s Pizza in NYC
31. Salvador Dali
30. Telling your boss to fuck off and getting away with it
29. Phil Ochs
28. Driving someone else’s expensive car REALLY fast
27. Quadrophenia by The Who
26. Chamomile tea when you can’t sleep
25. Pinball
24. Home brewed beer (OK, I like beer, so what?)
23. You, if you bothered to read through this whole list
22. Garlic
21. Fugazi (I know I am so un-PC)
20. Mozart
19. Red wine
18. Bukowski
17. Iggy and the Stooges
16. My mom
15. Tabasco sauce
14. Mike Watt
13. A full tank of gas
12. Tomato soup after playing in the snow
11. Memories that make you smile
10. The Southern Belle (Pool Bar)
9. Butterscotch
8. Meeting someone you really look up to and they aren’t an asshole
7. Scrawl (#86)
6. Clean bathrooms
5. Jalapenos
4. Black Sabbath
3. Mortal Kombat
2. Record store attendants that don’t act like they know soooo much more than you
1. Johnette Napolitano

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