Big Hank’s Beer Quotes

Big Hank’s Beer Quotes

(Originally appeared in Mutant Renegade Zine #12, Fall 1999)

“You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline – it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.”
–Frank Zappa

“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
–Ernest Hemmingway

“Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol Than alcohol has taken out of me.”
–Winston Churchill

“He was a wise man who invented beer.”
–Plato

“Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.”
–Catherine Zandonella

“A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.”
–W.C. Fields

“Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.”
–Lady Astor to Winston Churchill;

His reply, “Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.”
– Winston Churchill;

“Sir, you’re drunk!” “Yes, Madam, and you’re ugly. But in the morning, I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”

“I drink to make other people interesting.”
–George Jean Nathan

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”
–Henny Youngman

“If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.”
–Deep Thought, Jack Handy

“Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.”
–David Moulton

“You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”
–Dean Martin

“American Beer is like making love in a canoe. Fucking close to water.”
–Monty Python

” I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.”
–Homer Simpson

“Work is the curse of the drinking class.”
–Oscar Wilde

“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with fools.”
–For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway

“All right, brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me – so let’s just do this and I’ll get back to killing you with beer.”
–Homer Simpson

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