(Originally appeared in Mutant Renegade Zine #9, Fall 1998)
I went to Tecumseh High School. I just loved high school Yeah right. I was a loser, a loner, and a freak. In our school newspaper (the special 1987 Senior Edition) they listed what people were going to be in the future, for me they put “rebel of society”. Yes, I did have some friends. But now I think about it, they seemed to be my friends around the time that I got my car and seemed to fade away when they got one. Well anyway I never really fit in with them, which goes to show why I haven’t really talked to anybody I graduated with from High School for over 10 years.
When it came to girls in high school, I felt like that Peanuts character Pig Pen, like I had this invisible dust cloud around me that kept them from wanting to be near me. And the girls that I did manage to go out with were more like “let’s fuck with his head, chew him up and treat him like dirt” demons. During my first high school dance, the girl I was suppose to go with broke our date by telling me that her mom was making her baby sit. However I did see her going to the dance with someone else. Thus began the pattern of girls lying to me before they fucked me over.
And yeah I’m the one who said that I was saving myself for someone who would actually have sex with me in the high school survey. It also seemed like the girls that I did go out on a date with were always saving themselves for the person they went out with after me. I still believe that the first girl I managed to have sex with was high on crack at the time.
Still there were good times. Like when I got so drunk the night before a big cross country meet that I puked all over the place during the race. And there was a time when a guy was selling a joint to another guy and I happened to be walking by them when they got busted and my ass got hauled to the office because the teacher who busted them thought I was in on the deal. Or what about my brother’s car that I borrowed without his permission While I was taking a girl that I liked home, a guy ran a stop sign and both cars ended up totaled. And even though it was the other person’s fault, the girl blamed me for the accident because she was supposed to get a ride home with her brother. (She neglected to tell me that until the paramedics started picking broken glass out of my face).
I remember when people use to tell me to enjoy it because it was going to be the best years of my life. Thank god they were wrong. However, for a lot of people I think that it was true. When I go home for visits and see all the people who were the popular dicks in high school still living at home with their parents I get a shitty grin on my face. I may still be a loser, but at least I’m not as big of a loser as they are.