(Originally appeared in Mutant Renegade Zine #3, 1994)
Hi, this is a column for, about & with everything. At least everything that I want it to be about, there is no point here other than to express myself like Madonna, yet different (I’m keeping my clothes on, or am I?, How would you know). Would you care? Do I care? I don’t know. I don’t know if I care, well, OK , I do because I like to ramble.
Observation: computers are fun. I like to spend most of my time on Fen and my computer, I digitize at work on a computer and I take classes in school on computer programming. What fun spell checkers are, at least for people like me who can’t spell (I’m not going to use it on this letter so count my mistakes and send ‘em in). Type in Fugazi and it tells you to change it to faggot. Use the grammar checker and type in asshole or redneck and it tells you that this word is usually found offensive and should be changed to something a little more subtle.
Speaking of spelling and the whole she-bang, have you seen the baby hanging stations in the local department stores. Yes, the killer bunnyman first clued me in after I saw signs at taco bell advertising for losers. He told me about the sinister Mr. “c”. He has been attacking signs and stealing the “c”s from them. Of course Mr “c” might really be Mr. reality, you know losers at Taco Bell and hanging baby’s at Meijers.
If you have never heard of Meijers, it is a huge store / warehouse thing that sells everything that you can imagine. The coolest thing about it is that they are open 24 hrs and you can run around and play tag throughout the store and rarely get kicked out.
Speaking of tags, well I wasn’t really talking about tags and I have nothing to write about them. However I do have other things to discuss. Like the meaning of life and what comes after college? What is punk? What is a zine? Why do I ask so many questions? What do you want to do with your life? Do you pay child support? Can you pronounce Prince’s new name? Can you really believe it’s not butter? Who is spooky? (wait I solved that he’s Jeff) Are Fen and I really engaged? Why do some people have to fuck up your life then keep doing things to it to make your life even worse and there is no way to stop them, even if you are really starting to believe that they are scum and should be…
(sorry, about that rant it’s kinda personal)
What will happen to Dayton, will it become the new Seattle? Are we destined to be in Spin forever? Where is Dayton? Why are so many of us (me included) so self promotional about our zines, our bands, our labels, our scene, etc? Can’t we all just get along? Am I just going overboard? Do I sound like a preverbal four year old? I’ll stop now.