xbxrx – All Hail!

xbxrx – All Hail!

(Originally appeared in Mutant Renegade Zine #12, Fall 1999)

MRZ – I’ve heard many conflicting reports in regards to your ages…some say your as young as 13 others as old as 25. So what are the ages of the band members…in dog years.

El Steve-O – In dog years, anywhere between 105 and 168 i think…or we are all related and are eight years old.
Nixon – …only one of us is old enough to get into 18+ shows basically.
Timberwolf – Hmmm… , dog years = 32, 34, 37, 37, 42

MRZ – I missed your show at WE Fest because like a lush I wandered off with the Florida anarchists to try and get free beer at that one sub shop…however I have a nice piece of the keyboard. So how can you keep smashing up all your shit?

Nixon – As you know already, we (the band) are not always… that’s what you get for drinking alcohol! as the saying goes Tthe ship doesn’t always follow the sea”.
J. Ferrari – There is an art to smashing our things and repairing them, I think it’s called something like, “duck-tape”.

MRZ – I have described your sound to people as components of Brainiac, Nation of Ulysses, and the Dead Milkmen along with samples to make an amazing release. Are you giggling at this description or do you think it fits?

El Steve-O – I guess it’s good. I don’t know. I haven’t really heard more than a few songs from any of those bands so I don’t know. I do own one Brainiac CD and 7″ and I guess their atmosphere is like ours but now I’m just babbling so I’m going to shut up.
Nixon – I am actually relieved that we are compared to good bands, opposed to some band that I am not too huge on.
J. Ferrari – That description may fit in certain arenas but I personally like the description of Weird “Al” Yankovick being backed by AC/DC! Don’t worry if you have trouble associating us with other bands, because we have that same problem.

MRZ – If you could be any animal it would be?

El Steve-O – We are all animals.
J. Ferrari – I wish I could be a human rather than this deranged creature I have become. Ever since I joined xbxrx my physical and mental being has slowly deteriorated and morphed into something really nasty!
Timberwolf – Too late, I am currently an animal

MRZ – So what’s up with the uniforms?

El Steve-O – Anyone can look cool in matching uniforms, unless they’re khaki uniforms resembling jackass safari people.
J. Ferrari – The “uniforms” you speak of were created in order for us to blend together and keep us from ruining our sporty street clothes. I also agree with Steve-O about never being able to look cool in khaki. We look like employees of the city or something.

MRZ – If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?

J. Ferrari – If I were invisible for a day I’d probably rob a bank, hop on a plane to Washington D.C., give the President a weggie during an important press conference, steal a bunch of classified secrets from the Pentagon and proceed to sell them on E-bay under a assumed identity.
Timberwolf – Sneak into an “R” rated movie

MRZ – Which band member is most likely to someday be profiled on VH 1′s behind the music? Why?

El Steve-O – Me, of course. It’s all about me, period. J. Ferrari – Yeah, Steve-o is right, he will be the one who’s dirty laundry is paraded all over the boob tube.
Nixon – I don’t know. probably Daniel Joseph Mansfield III (aka DJ Freestyle)
J. Ferrari – I could see DJ Freestyle as the narrator.

MRZ – What was your impression of WE Fest?

El Steve-O – Beautiful.
Nixon – I enjoyed being a part of WE Fest. we want to play again next year. it would also be nice to see all of our friends (Brett nipple, Jim Testa, Alex from Prosolar to name a few). they are all wonderful people so…. yeah. its fantastic.
J. Ferrari – All I remember is playing a song and turning to my left to see Nixon’s family fruit basket swinging in the wind! I think I will be scarred for the rest of my life.

MRZ – Name five albums you could not live without.

J. Ferrari – MC5′s Kick Out the Jams, The Stooges’ FunHouse, Black Sabbath’s first album, Terry Jack’s Seasons in the Sun and, The Good Rats’ first album! Of course if you ask me this again next week I would probably have a whole new list for you.
Nixon – I personally cant just pick 5. I am really feeling Quintrons’ “These Hands of Mine”, Sonic Youths “Sister”, The Peechees “Games People Play”, This Bike is a Pipebombs’ “Of Chivalry and Romance”, Dave Dondero “Pity Party”, Scarnella s/t and Melt Banana “Charlie” to name a few in rotation on the record player. well i named a few too many…
L – It’s all about the new Flaming Lips album.

MRZ – So what are your plans for world domination?

Nixon – I wasn’t aware that we had one.
J. Ferrari – Of course we do Nixon, we just can’t tell this idiot, because he’d steal it and take over the world. Come on! We might be crazy but we not stoopid!

MRZ – Are there any random comments you wish to make?

El Steve-O – Buy our CD. GO APE.
Nixon – We love you. we want to see you so come to our shows. Free hugs and kisses, high fives and high tens. Feel the love. Dance. You are very beautiful.
J. Ferrari – Everything you have ever heard about the “South” is absolutely true!
L – Rock.
Timberwolf – bur ciod time , watch, swithboard.


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